Heart
Dot

Things to Look for in a Partner

Multiple Blue Rings

Someone who is an open communicator

It’s important for open communication to be present in healthy relationships. By open communication, I mean that someone can share their feelings and needs with you.

Dot
Multiple Blue Rings

Someone who values honesty and trust

In most couples therapy research we find that honesty is an important part of a relationship because it helps to build and maintain trust. Trust is foundational in a good relationship

Dot
Multiple Blue Rings

share good news with your partner

It’s important that both partners can validate each other’s feelings and accept responsibility. When your partner is upset, you should be able to understand why they feel that way and at least accept some part of the responsibility

Dot
Multiple Blue Rings

Someone who expresses love and appreciation to you

Telling your partner or showing your partner that you love them is important for feeling connected. Expressing to a partner what we appreciate about them builds connection and balances out negative interactions.

Dot
Multiple Blue Rings

Someone you can have fun with

Having fun together is the foundation of friendship in romantic relationships. You don’t have to enjoy the same hobbies — your interests can even be opposites — but you still have to find ways to have fun together.

Dot
Multiple Blue Rings

Someone who accepts influence

Accepting influence from each other is an important factor in navigating conflict. It can help you understand where your partner is coming from and be willing to find a compromise.

Dot
Multiple Blue Rings

Someone who shows up

Everyone goes through hard times but having a partner who can be there for you can make those hard times easier. Equally important is someone who will be there for the good times as well.

Dot
Multiple Blue Rings

Someone who shares your basic values

Similar to a total lack of fighting, a completely detached and superficial civility is often a sign that both partners have checked out. If your partner feels more like a roommate or acquaintance than someone with whom you have a high level of emotional intimacy, there is a substantial problem.

Dot
Multiple Blue Rings

Someone who speaks positively about you to others

Even when times are tough, it is important not to talk negatively about your partner to friends or family. For one thing, they may have trouble seeing the positive if you never talk about it, but also, it’s an important part of respect.

Dot
Multiple Blue Rings

Someone who supports and challenges you

A good partner supports you, your hopes, and your dreams. They also should challenge you in a way that encourages you to be a better version of yourself.

Dot

Top 10 Reasons Relationships Fail