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When You Dislike Your Loved One's Romantic Partner

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Attitude Components

Many researchers believe there are three components to our attitudes (see Kassin et al., 2011): the cognitive component (our thoughts), the affective component (our feelings), and the behavioral component (our actions). Ideally, these three components match one another, but sometimes we can have mixed feelings toward individuals.

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Psychological Reactance

When our friends or family members express their dislike for our romantic partners, we may experience psychological reactance, that is, attitude change in the opposite direction of what is advocated

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Positive Illusions

Our friends and family members may dislike our romantic partners because we see our own romantic partners through “rose-colored glasses.” It is common in romantic relationships to engage in what researchers call “partner enhancement” or “positive illusions.”

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Many of us are fortunate to have friends and family members with wonderful spouses and partners. However, conflict among friends and family members over chosen partners is common. Below, we review some of the reasons we may experience conflict over a loved one’s romantic relationship.

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Psychological Reactance

hen our friends or family members express their dislike for our romantic partners, we may experience psychological reactance, that is, attitude change in the opposite direction of what is advocated

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Positive Illusions

ur friends and family members may dislike our romantic partners because we see our own romantic partners through “rose-colored glasses.” It is common in romantic relationships to engage in what researchers call “partner enhancement” or “positive illusions.”

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Someone who shows up

we may downgrade the importance of those characteristics and upgrade the importance of the positive traits our significant others do possess.

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The Inevitability of Staying

Even if we recognize that we are in unsatisfying relationships, the decision to leave the relationship may be a much more difficult decision to make than the decision to stay in the relationship.

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Although pushing too hard can cause psychological reactance, it is also the case that when friends and family members share their concerns about our less-than-ideal partners or relationships, individuals are more likely to end those relationships

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Your Opinions Matter

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our friendship and support will be critical if they do choose to leave those relationships in the future.

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Top 10 Reasons Relationships Fail